Just last week, after world-renowned Shakespeare scholar Professor Steven Gallblatter was trampled to death at a Renaissance fair, the following manuscript was discovered amongst his files. It has recently been confirmed to be a missing page from one of William Shakespeare’s unpublished plays.
“Bromeo and Juliet—working title”
Juliet:
Pray drunken eyes do not deceive me now.
Must thou weaken these knees, my dear Lax Bro,
To point of wilt? Mine field is free to plow
Despite thine freshman rank—my, such soft flow!
Bromeo:
‘Tis true my flow is free beyond its years…
But halt, old hag. Your moves without a phase
Have near movéd these [handsome] loins to tears.
With one more shot we’ll end within East Grays.
Juliet:
I ascertain you play long-pole attack—
Oh my, out goes my nucleus of nip!
Bromeo:
Dost thou not see the messages? Alack!
I dare not battle that mad Herped lip.
Juliet:
I need the play! Why don’t we, Sweetie, Eff?
Bromeo:
Hell, smashed am I; God knows you’re DTF.
[Bromeo and Juliet exit]
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